Never How You Expected

When caregiving for aging parents becomes something entirely different

We always thought we had a plan.

When my parents got older, one would eventually pass, and we would take care of the other. Mom liked the idea of assisted living, so that part felt simple. And Dad? He would come live with me.

At least… that’s what I thought.

What we didn’t plan for—what no one really prepares you for—was both of them declining at the same time.

Dad, eighty-three.
Mom, eighty.
Both needing more than we ever expected, all at once.

Dad was the strong one. The stubborn one. The one who always said he was “fine,” no matter what. Even with heart issues, even after procedures—he never really admitted anything was wrong.

But six stents and a code blue later… things had changed.

Last November, my brother and I brought Dad home from the hospital. My brother faced a long, seven-hour drive back, and I stayed behind to make sure Dad was stable before heading home to South Dakota a few days later.

That night, I had just gotten into bed when Dad yelled up the stairs.

But it wasn’t for him.

It was Mom.

The stress. The exhaustion. The emotional toll of everything we had just been through—it had caught up with her. And suddenly, it was clear: she wasn’t okay either.

I called for an ambulance and found myself right back at the hospital.

Again.

Trying to understand what was happening with Mom… while quietly wondering how much more Dad’s heart could handle.

That’s when we learned Mom had a blood clot in her lungs—and strong signs of cancer. More tests would follow. More unknowns.

But one thing became clear immediately:

They couldn’t be left alone anymore.

That moment—right there—was the beginning of my full-time caregiving journey.

Up until then, I had been helping from a distance. Scheduling doctor appointments. Managing some of the finances. Checking in regularly. Traveling to Colorado about once a month to make sure everything was okay.

But this?

This was different.

This was everything changing overnight.

Six Months Later

Fast forward to today.

I’m here, writing this, reaching out through this blog—because I know I’m not the only one walking this road.

Is this therapy?
Honestly… I hope so.

Caregiving for aging parents isn’t just about medications, appointments, or logistics. It’s about love, patience, exhaustion, guilt, small wins, and moments that break you when you least expect it.

If you’re in this season too—caring for a parent, or maybe even two—I see you.

Follow along with me.
Share your stories, your struggles, your questions, and your moments of joy.

Because this space isn’t just mine.

It’s for all of us learning, in real time, what it truly means to care for the people who once cared for us.

Love, patience… and yes, a lot of pill boxes.