The Call I Didn’t Need

The last thing I expected in all of this was to get a call from back home with sad news. My poor neighbors dreaded calling me to say that our cat, whom they had been taking care of, was gone. He had been hit by a car in our neighborhood.

I couldn’t believe it. Could the timing have been any worse? I felt so bad for the neighbor girl. She had been coming by every day to play with him and make sure he was cared for while we were dealing with all of this. She had gotten so attached.

We rescued our cat from the animal shelter last summer on our anniversary, and we all became very attached to him. He thought he owned the neighborhood and loved spending his days roaming, hunting mice, and showing back up at the door like nothing had happened. Even our dog loved him.

I’m trying to comfort myself by remembering that he was living his best life — free to roam, hunt mice (which he loved to do), and no longer stuck in a small cage.

I miss home so much. Lately it feels like my whole life exists somewhere else while I’m here trying to hold everything together.

If I had been there, maybe it wouldn’t have happened…ugh.

I told my husband I was done. No more cats. I couldn’t handle another loss. I know that will probably change, but right now it feels like everything is slipping away.

My faithful dog is here with me at my parents’ house. I hugged him close, hoping he’ll be around for a long time to come.

At a time when I’m already struggling to stay positive and motivated, sometimes one more loss, no matter how small it seems to others, can feel impossibly heavy.